Words: Joe Purnell
Match reports are like cups of tea. Make a bad one and no one will ever ask you to make one again. Wish I had taken that advice on board. This week see’s Purnell take his match reports to the clubs 1st XI. Although I could write it Swahili and it would be an improvement on one of Dharms reports. Although with Dharms being Kenyan, there’s a chance that part of his are.
The Ones travelled to Englefield Green – the next town over from Staines. Staines, famously where former 1st XI opening bowler and bar prop Tommy Easton ended up after a few too many in the clubhouse, he had a missing persons report filed that night. Traffic on the M25 meant we had about 6 ready to start – Sound familiar? We won the toss and chose to bat, but their skipper wasn’t fussed as half their side had to leave early, so would have fielded first. Love it when cricket takes priority.
RCC started well with Phil and Harry Farley putting on a good stand, on a good pitch, confidently dispatching anything short. This wasn’t backed up by 4&5. Stu and Harry Purnell carried on where the openers left off. Harry ending up with 4 mid off’s in for him, in one of the least conventional, yet extremely effective fields going. Eventually RCC ended up on 224 After 49.5 overs.
We took the old ball and set about getting them all out. Dustier than Englefield Green’s memorial scoreboard. 10 wickets. We had done it once already this season. Not that I had anything to do that. Fuchsy and JP went alright. Dharms even took a catch behind the stumps. All that talk of kebabs must have got him hungry. Johno replaced JP, more off spin. The ball was looking pretty tired. Umer was eyeing up Dharms from fine leg, warming up suggestively. We soldiered on as was, Fuchsy ending up with 4-42. Eventually we unchained the bear and he tore through the tale like boss mans chili sauce with a 90 over ball, finishing with 3-1. EG were all out for 94. No one knows what happened to the new ball. Roehampton didn’t need it. It was last seen with Barry heading towards a Croydon market.
A good all round performance (mostly) where everyone contributed (mostly). My biggest contribution for the day was for a chance to go up in the air near me, only for JP to call Joe’s. Took me longer than it should have to realise that he was calling for himself, not me. 20 more points after the disappointment of a loss last week and Roeys are still in the hunt for silverware. Someone else’s turn on the report next week chaps (In breaking news Joe has agreed to do all match reports to the end of time - cheers mate)
MOM – Fuchsy