Saturday the 19th of June will be a day to remember for the Roehampton third eleven as the team produced a near perfect performance to secure a dominant victory against Malden Wanderers. There were three changes to the team after their abysmal defeat to Wallington as Ben Ralph and Joe Purnell found themselves unexpectedly back in the twos while Muhammad Azam was unavailable. This brought Roehampton veteran bowler Umer and new boys Abi and Tom into the side.

However, before the game had even started the most difficult part of the day proved to be finding a pitch to play on as both sides (minus Umer who evaded arriving on time for the 237th consecutive game) arrived at Barn Elms to find every pitch occupied. The teams wondered around for more than half an hour being turned away from pitch after pitch until hope was almost lost. However, eventually what could be liberally described as a wicket was found; others would describe the strip we were told to play on as a resembling a recreation of no-mans-land and Reading Festival after a week of rain combined.

To our collective dismay we lost the toss and were, unsurprisingly, put into bat. It is safe to say that confidence in our batting was decidedly low after last week but that needn’t have been the case.

Now to write about my favourite subject, my own batting. However, given that everyone who will read this was either present to see my innings or heard far more than enough about it at the clubhouse that evening, I will spare you from a blow-by-blow account of it.

Ravi and I opened the batting and cautiously and set about putting up a total getting to eight overs having scored 27 runs before Ravi spooned a catch to mid-off bringing Zohaib to the crease. Our number three then batted for six balls, five of which he tried to put into the Thames before being bowled. A tricky period then followed as skipper Fahad, in at four, and myself batted against some tight bowling from the Wanderers’ first change bowlers who took pace off the ball and slowed the scoring yet more. At drinks mid-way through the innings we were at a meagre 58-2.

After a quick break we headed back out with the intent to pick up the scoring once the Malden first change bowlers were done with their spells. This was successful as by the 32nd over we had reached 110 without losing another wicket. This over also saw Fahad reach his 50 before being caught off a top edge at slip. Our supreme leader walked off to an applause from both sides after what had been a true captain’s innings bringing us from 31-2 to 129-3. The usually ever-reliable Rob then came in and middled a cut shot which would ordinarily have gone for a resounding four but instead somehow stuck in point’s hand, taking a catch Paul Collingwood would be proud of and leaving the threes 129-4 with just six overs remaining. Now came Roehampton debutant Tom Drury who smashed Malden’s returning openers to score 42 off 27 balls. We ended the innings with a formidable total of 187 given the state of the wicket with myself having top-scored with 67 not out.

As is so often the case Umer redeemed himself for his lateness by providing the team with samosas which we quickly devoured before heading out to defend our total.

An excellent bowling and fielding performance followed with Umer taking three very early wickets and leaving Malden stunned as every player they had franticly padded up while their batsmen dropped like flies. Sadeed then joined the fray with a catch taken off his bowling by Abi who attempted to break the world record for time spent juggling before eventually securing the catch. The chaos continued with a top edge off Sadeed’s bowling falling between keeper and slip after a disastrous lack of communication, however just a few balls later the batsman played an identical shot and Rob took the catch this time and breathed a sigh of relief that could be heard in Mongolia. Malden Wanderers were now 37-5.

At this point the only one thing could stop the threes on their patch to victory: the weather; with drizzle starting to fall, Fahad told the team to push to the 20 overs required to get a result. Another two wickets fell shortly after this with the Wanderers number two, who had scored 7 off 45 balls, run out and leggie Tom Beech clean bowling another in the 19th over. This caused a brief controversy as the Wanderers number nine demanded we take drinks just three balls away from reaching the 20 overs required to secure a result while the drizzle continued to fall, how strange.

What followed was the quickest drinks break ever witnessed on a cricket pitch as we sprinted off and back on taking drinks with the efficiency of an F1 pit stop. The last three wickets then came quickly with the only resistance shown by the Wanderers captain who scored 25 while farming the strike to protect the rapidly disappearing tail. This effort was in vain though as Malden’s number nine (the one who was such a fan of early drinks breaks) was caught in the deep by Zohaib off a full toss from Tom Beech while the number 10 was given out LBW also off Beechy after an appeal which lasted longer than ever film in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Finally, Tom Drury was brought on and bowled the Wanderers number 11 to make them 84 all out and secure a 103 run victory for the threes.

There is very little to fault about this match for the threes; myself and Fahad’s calm, sensible innings paired with Toms quick runs at the end put up a total which supported the bowlers who all contributed to the threes resounding win. Most notably though were Umer (3-20), Sadeed (2-22), and Tom Beech (3-7) who all bowed clinically and ensured we were back in the warm, dry clubhouse before six.